Her parents' house was in sight. If she could just make it there, she would be safe behind the protective wall of her brothers. They wouldn't let him harm her. They had never liked him to begin with. Guillermo had always said that he was just waiting for a reason to call his homies on him. Alma wasn't entirely certain that that would be necessary anymore. She had walked away from the crash relatively unharmed.
When she had looked at Joey before crawling out the driver side window, he had been bleeding from his eyes and mouth. Even if he could follow her, his blurred vision would slow him down considerably. It had been a good day until Alma picked Joey up to go to dinner at her parents' house. He was already drunk when he got in the car, and the glazed look in his eyes spoke of much more than booze. Alma hid a number of things from her family. Joey's drug habit was just one of these things. Alma had recently started questioning her relationship with Joey. That was another. Alma didn't want her family to think that anything was wrong. She didn't want them to be right. She didn't want to believe that Joey was just anther loser junkie. He was so smart sometimes. He had a lot of really great ideas. He just never really got around to them was all. Lately Joey had taken to snorting meth. It wasn't too bad when Joey was just drunk. They got into arguments when he was drunk; nothing too terrible. When Joey was on the meth though, he could be a terror. The drunken surliness was intensified to a rage by the effects of the manufactured chemicals in his brain. There had been a few times in the last couple of months when Alma truly felt that her life was in danger. Joey had even raped her once after beating her so severely that she couldn't go to school the next day. She didn't want them to be right. She didn't want to give up the nights when Joey was perfect; nights that he would cook her dinner, massage her feet, really make love to her. Joey had cried for hours when Alma had to tell him what he had done to her because he couldn't remember. She couldn't believe that he was unsalvageable. She couldn't believe that he had just threatened to kill her if she didn't pull over the car less than two blocks from her parents' house and give him a blowjob. In a single moment of condenced rage and frustration, the last few months of abuse exploded in a single stomp on the gas pedal and swerve of the wheel into the trunk of an old maple tree just half a block from their destination. Alma was crying so hard as she ran to her parents' house that her tears were streaming behind her on the breeze. She didn't see her brother, Jojo sitting on a lawn chair in front of the house. She was crying too hard for that. She didn't see Jojo stand up, nor did she see Jojo's girlfriend, Ashley come out the front door. She didn't see Jojo move to catch her before she made it to the door. She simply slammed into Jojo's chest where he caught her before she could fall. Alma wanted to explain everything that had happened; how she had had such a good day at school, how everyone in her class had made her feel so good about finding the accellerant in a charred peice of wood, how her mother's praise had warmed her inside. She wanted to explain how Joey was already drunk and high when she went to pick him up, how he had ridiculed her for wanting to please her mother by showing up for dinner on time for once. She wanted to explain how Joey had ripped her blouse just before the crash. All she could get out between sobs however was, "I think I killed him." Jojo held her tight and asked her where her car was. When she pointed in the direction of the crash, Jojo had Ashley take Alma from him and called for the rest of their brothers. The five brothers and their father took off running down the street. When they reached the car, there were flames starting underneath and smoke coming from the engine. Jojo had two of his brothers drag Joey, who was still bleeding and unconcious out of the passenger seat. Jojo and Sergio meanwhile, pried open the trunk to retrieve Alma's school supplies.
Their father supervised the ordered chaos and shouted things like, "Come on! Do you really care if you rip his leg off?!? Just get him out of there."
When the fire trucks and paramedics arrived, the car was already engulfed in flames. The police hand-cuffed Joey to the gurney before he could be taken to the hospital. He still had not come around yet. The police took Alma's statement and instructed her not to leave town. It could be a while before Joey would be in front of a judge. In the meantime he would be put under house arrest.
After everything had calmed down, Alma was sitting on the couch in the living room, flanked by Sergio and Guillermo.
To no one in particular she said, "What am I gonna do? He's gonna come after me when he gets out. He won't care about fucking house arrest."
Without saying a word, Ashley took out her phone and dialed a number. She spoke to the person on the other end for a minute to explain the situation, then hung up.
She then pulled out a note-pad and scribbled something down and handed it to Alma saying, "Talk to this guy tomorrow. He'll probably give you a job and a place to stay. He's a major prick, but he won't let Joey get close to you without losing a limb for it."
Alma stared at the slip of paper for a moment before tucking it into her pocket. There was a phone number and address followed by a name; Jack Bowman.
Ashley sat on Jojo's lap and said, "I worked for him for a few months. You'll probably hate him, but his partner is good people. You and Percy should get along just fine."
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Snow, MacDonalds, and Rock 'n Roll
The snow was falling thicker and harder when I walked out of Borders. It was getting close to three, so I jumped in my cavalier and headed over to the Rock and Roll MacDonald's. The way that Punch had seemed to materialize out of nothing had shaken me a little. My main thought was that when I got home, I would be looking up locations in Kenosha or Racine. When I arrived at MacDonald's Robert was waiting for me. I walked in and there he sat, all smiles and shit. He put down his double quarter pounder with cheese and stood up to shake my hand.
He said, "Good afternoon, Jackson. How are tings?"
I shook his hand, smiled and said, "As they should be. How is business?"
"Lucrative. Couldn't be better. Sit down then."
I said, "I went to a party last night."
Picking up his burger, he replied, "So I hear tell. Was it a good one?"
I snagged one of his fries and said, "You wouldn't believe me if I told you."
Robert swallowed some processed cow and said, "Perhaps ye could show me."
I smiled and said, "Perhaps I could."
Bobby reached into his inside breast pocket and pulled out a thick manila envelope. He said, "Will two tickle it out o' ye?"
I smiled and pulled out from my inside breast pocket, a cd case containing the edited dvd from the night before, and a cd of stills that Percy had put together from the video. When you cut out all the unnecessaries, it turned out to be a twenty minute video. This is not unusual in my line of work and will be overlooked. I put the case on the table next to the envelope, and put the envelope in it's place.
"Don't ye even want te count it?" He said.
"No. I'm cool." I replied.
"Did ye happen te read the paper this morning?"
I said that I had, and that I had seen the article that I was sure he was going to comment on.
I said, "It's always amazing to me when someone goes loony-tunes in a good way."
"Really?"
He said. "I would think that it would make you afraid of losing business."
I chortled and said, "Are you nuts? The police are gonna be calling me within a week; not to mention the seedier side of town. I'm gonna make a mint off this nut job."
Bobby squinted his eyes at the word "seedier".
He said, "Ye do work for the unsavory types, Jackson? I would have tought ye more the discerning type."
I shook my head and said, "In my line of work, Mr. Malloy, it is difficult for one to work only for upstanding people like yourself. So long as I'm being dealt with honestly, I can't complain."
He shrugged and said, "No, I suppose not."
As I got up to leave, I noticed a bit of mustard on Bobby's collar. I did the universal "You have something on your collar" hand motion. He raised his eyebrows, looked down, grabbed a napkin and wiped at his collar. Miraculously, he succeeded in removing the offending dribblet before it had the chance to stain the material. I gave him the "You got it" thumbs up and walked out the door. I decided to take a walk around the block. The snow was making everything white like Christmas. This is the reason that I stay in the Dark Kingdom rather than leave. I can think of no prettier city, when it's touched by the seasons. I walked as far as Millennium Park before thoughts of Cynthia caught up with me. At first it was just memories from the night before. Eventually it turned into thoughts of what would happen the next time that I had her alone. And then the phone rang.It was Percy on the other end. He wanted to know if everything had gone smoothly with Punch and Robert. I told him that everything had, and that I had the stack of applications so we could get started on the whole hiring business. He asked if I had called Cynthia. It was annoying to hear the question, but I knew that it was coming. I said that, no I hadn't; that I had decided to take a walk and lost track of time.
He said, "That's a shame. I was hoping maybe you would have a good reason for not checking in."
I told him what he could do with himself, then I told him he should make it quick because I would be back soon to hammer out the hiring thing. I stopped at a corner store on the way back to my car, and got myself a coffee energy drink. Thirty minutes later, I was back at Stella staring blankly at two-hundred blank employment applications stacked neatly on my office coffee table. Percy sat across from me with his knees crossed and a note-pad in one hand and pen in the other. All of the lights were on due to all the shades being drawn and the soft yellowish glow did not really do anything to motivate my mind. I looked up at Percy and said, "Do I really have to offer room and board?"
"No, you could just be a dick like you usually do."
"Oh, good. I thought I didn't have options."
Percy was not pleased by this response. He narrowed his eyes and said, "If you don't offer room and board, you're not going to keep any employees longer than one job."
"I'm looking for a down side."
"The down side is that you will quickly run out of people who want to work for you."
"Is that a threat?"
"It was a statement of fact. I don't make threats. You know that."
I knew that Percy wasn't making a threat. He would stop working for me no sooner than I would actually fire him. Even then I don't think I could really be rid of him. I took a sip of my hot coffee. I put my mug back down on the table. I stared again at the applications. I said, "I'm not even entirely certain of what I'm looking for."
Percy opened his note pad and said, "We need someone who can work with computers, preferably someone with A+ certification. We need someone who can tail people because Robert knows what you look like. We need someone with secretarial skills to help me in the office. It wouldn't hurt to have an off duty forensics officer. That's really what we're looking for right now."
"Do we really want a cop working with us on this?"
Percy closed his note book and said, "Ok, bad example. You understand what I mean though, right?"
"Yeah, I know what you mean. We need a couple of thugs and a couple of brains."
"I wouldn't put it so cavalierly but, yes that's what we're looking for." Just then the phone rang.
Percy picked it up and answered the way he always does. I didn't get much from the conversation; just that he was talking to Ashley, our former secretary. After a few moments, he hung up the phone and came back over and sat down. I asked him, "So, what did Ashley want?"
"Not her job back if that's what you're thinking. No, she said that her boyfriend's sister is having some problems and needs a place to go and maybe a job. I told her to send her up tomorrow."
Sometimes things just fall into place for you. I sipped my coffee and said, "What kind of qualifications does she have?"
"For one, she doesn't know you." Percy smiled at his own joke which I did not really find amusing and said, "We didn't talk about that. The girl's boyfriend just went to jail for reckless endangerment and public intoxication and possession of narcotics."
"I'm not gonna have to kill him, am I?"
"Let's hope not, but you never know. We'll talk to her tomorrow and see if we can do anything for her."
I'm really no good at trying to get people to work for me. I'm used to making people work for me. This whole thing of advertising positions is like calculus to me. I lean on Percy heavily in this aspect of the job. Really, I lean on Percy for everything but footwork. I said, "Where are we going to advertise?"
"I'm going to run it on Cragslist tonight, and put an ad in the Sun Times tomorrow. We should have some bites before the week is out. Now, didn't you say that Victoria gave you a black card for equipment?"
I pulled out my wallet and removed the card. I handed it over to Percy and he tentatively took it and cradled it in his hands. It was as if I had just handed him a nail from Christ's crucifixion. I said, "We have limitations on that card. We're only supposed to use it to buy equipment, and we have to prove that anything we buy is pertinent to our business. I'm going to assume that that asshole, Punch is the one who will be monitoring it's activity, so you'll be the one to deal with him if he has any questions."
"Why me?"
"Because I may end up putting him in the hospital. I don't like the fucker, and he wasn't trying to make a good impression if you know what I mean."
Percy smirked and said, "Do you think maybe Victoria told him about your attitude, and he just wanted to see how far he could push you?"
I thought about it for a second then said, "Nah, I think he's just an asshole. There was something completely off about him though."
Percy leaned in and said, "How so?"
I took another sip of my coffee and said, "Well for starters, he snuck up on me." "Are you serious? I thought you said he was some old guy."
I put my cup down and rubbed my temples saying, "Yeah, he is. I tell you though, I didn't even smell him till he was sitting right in front of me."
"That's not right."
"No, it's not. After the club and this, I'm not too sure that I'm happy to be working for Ms. Malloy."
He said, "Good afternoon, Jackson. How are tings?"
I shook his hand, smiled and said, "As they should be. How is business?"
"Lucrative. Couldn't be better. Sit down then."
I said, "I went to a party last night."
Picking up his burger, he replied, "So I hear tell. Was it a good one?"
I snagged one of his fries and said, "You wouldn't believe me if I told you."
Robert swallowed some processed cow and said, "Perhaps ye could show me."
I smiled and said, "Perhaps I could."
Bobby reached into his inside breast pocket and pulled out a thick manila envelope. He said, "Will two tickle it out o' ye?"
I smiled and pulled out from my inside breast pocket, a cd case containing the edited dvd from the night before, and a cd of stills that Percy had put together from the video. When you cut out all the unnecessaries, it turned out to be a twenty minute video. This is not unusual in my line of work and will be overlooked. I put the case on the table next to the envelope, and put the envelope in it's place.
"Don't ye even want te count it?" He said.
"No. I'm cool." I replied.
"Did ye happen te read the paper this morning?"
I said that I had, and that I had seen the article that I was sure he was going to comment on.
I said, "It's always amazing to me when someone goes loony-tunes in a good way."
"Really?"
He said. "I would think that it would make you afraid of losing business."
I chortled and said, "Are you nuts? The police are gonna be calling me within a week; not to mention the seedier side of town. I'm gonna make a mint off this nut job."
Bobby squinted his eyes at the word "seedier".
He said, "Ye do work for the unsavory types, Jackson? I would have tought ye more the discerning type."
I shook my head and said, "In my line of work, Mr. Malloy, it is difficult for one to work only for upstanding people like yourself. So long as I'm being dealt with honestly, I can't complain."
He shrugged and said, "No, I suppose not."
As I got up to leave, I noticed a bit of mustard on Bobby's collar. I did the universal "You have something on your collar" hand motion. He raised his eyebrows, looked down, grabbed a napkin and wiped at his collar. Miraculously, he succeeded in removing the offending dribblet before it had the chance to stain the material. I gave him the "You got it" thumbs up and walked out the door. I decided to take a walk around the block. The snow was making everything white like Christmas. This is the reason that I stay in the Dark Kingdom rather than leave. I can think of no prettier city, when it's touched by the seasons. I walked as far as Millennium Park before thoughts of Cynthia caught up with me. At first it was just memories from the night before. Eventually it turned into thoughts of what would happen the next time that I had her alone. And then the phone rang.It was Percy on the other end. He wanted to know if everything had gone smoothly with Punch and Robert. I told him that everything had, and that I had the stack of applications so we could get started on the whole hiring business. He asked if I had called Cynthia. It was annoying to hear the question, but I knew that it was coming. I said that, no I hadn't; that I had decided to take a walk and lost track of time.
He said, "That's a shame. I was hoping maybe you would have a good reason for not checking in."
I told him what he could do with himself, then I told him he should make it quick because I would be back soon to hammer out the hiring thing. I stopped at a corner store on the way back to my car, and got myself a coffee energy drink. Thirty minutes later, I was back at Stella staring blankly at two-hundred blank employment applications stacked neatly on my office coffee table. Percy sat across from me with his knees crossed and a note-pad in one hand and pen in the other. All of the lights were on due to all the shades being drawn and the soft yellowish glow did not really do anything to motivate my mind. I looked up at Percy and said, "Do I really have to offer room and board?"
"No, you could just be a dick like you usually do."
"Oh, good. I thought I didn't have options."
Percy was not pleased by this response. He narrowed his eyes and said, "If you don't offer room and board, you're not going to keep any employees longer than one job."
"I'm looking for a down side."
"The down side is that you will quickly run out of people who want to work for you."
"Is that a threat?"
"It was a statement of fact. I don't make threats. You know that."
I knew that Percy wasn't making a threat. He would stop working for me no sooner than I would actually fire him. Even then I don't think I could really be rid of him. I took a sip of my hot coffee. I put my mug back down on the table. I stared again at the applications. I said, "I'm not even entirely certain of what I'm looking for."
Percy opened his note pad and said, "We need someone who can work with computers, preferably someone with A+ certification. We need someone who can tail people because Robert knows what you look like. We need someone with secretarial skills to help me in the office. It wouldn't hurt to have an off duty forensics officer. That's really what we're looking for right now."
"Do we really want a cop working with us on this?"
Percy closed his note book and said, "Ok, bad example. You understand what I mean though, right?"
"Yeah, I know what you mean. We need a couple of thugs and a couple of brains."
"I wouldn't put it so cavalierly but, yes that's what we're looking for." Just then the phone rang.
Percy picked it up and answered the way he always does. I didn't get much from the conversation; just that he was talking to Ashley, our former secretary. After a few moments, he hung up the phone and came back over and sat down. I asked him, "So, what did Ashley want?"
"Not her job back if that's what you're thinking. No, she said that her boyfriend's sister is having some problems and needs a place to go and maybe a job. I told her to send her up tomorrow."
Sometimes things just fall into place for you. I sipped my coffee and said, "What kind of qualifications does she have?"
"For one, she doesn't know you." Percy smiled at his own joke which I did not really find amusing and said, "We didn't talk about that. The girl's boyfriend just went to jail for reckless endangerment and public intoxication and possession of narcotics."
"I'm not gonna have to kill him, am I?"
"Let's hope not, but you never know. We'll talk to her tomorrow and see if we can do anything for her."
I'm really no good at trying to get people to work for me. I'm used to making people work for me. This whole thing of advertising positions is like calculus to me. I lean on Percy heavily in this aspect of the job. Really, I lean on Percy for everything but footwork. I said, "Where are we going to advertise?"
"I'm going to run it on Cragslist tonight, and put an ad in the Sun Times tomorrow. We should have some bites before the week is out. Now, didn't you say that Victoria gave you a black card for equipment?"
I pulled out my wallet and removed the card. I handed it over to Percy and he tentatively took it and cradled it in his hands. It was as if I had just handed him a nail from Christ's crucifixion. I said, "We have limitations on that card. We're only supposed to use it to buy equipment, and we have to prove that anything we buy is pertinent to our business. I'm going to assume that that asshole, Punch is the one who will be monitoring it's activity, so you'll be the one to deal with him if he has any questions."
"Why me?"
"Because I may end up putting him in the hospital. I don't like the fucker, and he wasn't trying to make a good impression if you know what I mean."
Percy smirked and said, "Do you think maybe Victoria told him about your attitude, and he just wanted to see how far he could push you?"
I thought about it for a second then said, "Nah, I think he's just an asshole. There was something completely off about him though."
Percy leaned in and said, "How so?"
I took another sip of my coffee and said, "Well for starters, he snuck up on me." "Are you serious? I thought you said he was some old guy."
I put my cup down and rubbed my temples saying, "Yeah, he is. I tell you though, I didn't even smell him till he was sitting right in front of me."
"That's not right."
"No, it's not. After the club and this, I'm not too sure that I'm happy to be working for Ms. Malloy."
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Strange Equations
After leaving Uncle Benny's, I jumped in my car, which was still in his lot, and headed over to Borders on State St. Walking into Borders, I dialed up Punch.
Ring, ring. "This is Punch."
The thick greek accent made it sound more like "Zdis is Pench."
I said, "This is Mr. Bowman. I was told to call you about getting a stack of forms delivered to me."
"Yes, Mr. Bowman. I have them to you in less than an hour."
Something wasn't right here. I asked, "Don't you want to know where to meet me?"
There was a shrug in his voice as he said, "You are at the book shop. I call you're office a little while ago. Your assistant told me this was place you like to 'hang out'."
Great. If the media doesn't get me killed, Percy just might.
"Alright then. Be here in forty-five minutes."
Non-plussed, I simply hung up and called the office.
When Percy answered, I said, "So, what's your impression of Mr. Punch?"
"What do you mean?"
"Didn't you just talk to him a little while ago?"
There was a pause then Percy said, "Um, no."
"You didn't just talk to an old greek guy with a slurry kind of accent?"
"Um, no."
That's never good.
I just stood there with my shoulders slumped a little, and a befuddled look on my face and said, "Huh."
Percy asked, "Has something gone awry?"
I thought about it for a second then said, "Nah, everything's cool."
Everything most certainly, was not cool. I hadn't even met this Punch guy, and already I didn't trust him one iota. Percy, can't lie to me. I don't mean that in a self flattering kind of way. Percy and I have known each other long enough that we can tell just by the sound of the other's voice, if they're lying. Punch had something on me, and I did not like it; not one bit.
I went inside Borders and started looking through the stacks. A girl with heavy eye-liner and a sing song way of speaking, recommended that I try reading "Ender's Game" by: Orson Scott Card.
"If you liked Heinlein's "Starship Troopers", you'll probably get a kick out of this. It's about a kid who has to save the entire human race from an invading insect horde."
I took the book over to the café, and grabbed the morning Tribune to go with it. I went over to the counter where Jason, who always seems to be at this counter whether day or night. "Clerks" comes to mind. I walked up, and he gave me the what's up nod. I held up two fingers and he started making me a double mocha espresso. I leaned against the counter and started reading chapter one of "Ender's Game." The sales girl was right. I did get a kick out of Ender. It's nice to see the bullies get their nuts punched in, even if it is just in a sci-fi book.
Jason brought me my drink. I paid for it. I walked away with it. I sat down at my usual table over by the window, overlooking the parking lot. I opened my paper and I took a look at the obituaries. I like to make sure of who's still around. A guy got killed over in the diamond district. Apparently, he and another were pulling a job when someone walked in. I didn't see any diamond shop keepers names in the obits, so I turned over to current events. I found the article about the botched robbery. The shop keeper stated that he was not even at the store when the heist occurred. He didn't know who it was that stopped the crime, but he claimed that they would be in his prayers.
Great. Now I have to deal with vigilantes on my watch. If this town gets much stranger, I'm moving to Kenosha.
I looked up from my paper, and there, seated in front of me, without having made a sound, was an old Greek man. The only reason that I knew he was there, was that I could smell his Old Spice deodorant. I should have been able to tell that he was coming up on me, but he caught me blind. I was not very appreciative of how this week was turning out.
Punch smiled a toothy grin and offered his hand saying, "Hallo, I em Pench."
His voice was gritty and slimy at the same time; the kind of voice that makes you kinda cringe a little inside when you hear it. It makes me think of Santa Claus and the IRS man wrapped into one.
I shook his hand. It was cold and dry; much like my humor.
I looked him over and said, "You lied to me. I don't like it when people lie to me."
In a low voice, Punch replied, "What in zdis world mekes you think I give a fuck about what you like, eh?"
That was not a point that I could argue inside a bookstore. I really wouldn't have minded the chance, but there were people all over. In a more private setting, I would have shown him what in this world. As it was, I was constrained by protocol.
I looked in his eyes to see nothing. He was a two way mirror.
I asked him, "How did you get the name Punch?"
He shrugged and said, "I work the numbers; punching numbers."
I said, "Really? I would have thought that is was because your presence makes someone want to punch themselves in the nuts."
I know it's not a good way to begin a business relationship, but he really did start it.
He didn't get angry. In fact, he smiled. He wagged his finger at me and said, "I like you. You make me think of crazy guy. The one who die in a crash… James Dean. I like him too, he was nice guy."
He was old enough to have known James Dean. I'll give him that.
Speaking of numbers, I decided to tease him a little. I said, "You work with numbers. How did you like the movie, "Pi"?
He gave me a blank look and said, "They hev a good idea of what it is, the ones who made that movie."
Usually when I meet an accountant and I ask that question, they get offended, or they don't know the movie, in which case, I always say "watch it" so that three days later they can be offended. Sometimes they say that they won't watch that movie. They don't like "wild minded theorists."
Whatever; it's a good flick.
I really wasn't expecting him to say that the producers of "Pi" were on to something. Most accountants like things cut and dry, like the salami on their deli sandwiches. He reached into the courier bag that was slung on his left shoulder, and pulled out a stack of applications two inches thick. He dropped them on the table and they landed with a finalizing thud.
He said, "So starts the new chepter in your life, Mr. Bowman. Here is some paper to write it on."
I picked up the applications and looked at them. They were just plain old apps with the law firm that now fronted my payroll at the top left hand corner of the page. I knew he was gone before I even looked up. The smell of his deodorant was already fading. No, this week was not to my liking at all. I checked my phone and saw the time was a quarter to three, so I grabbed my shit, paid for the book and paper, then left.
Ring, ring. "This is Punch."
The thick greek accent made it sound more like "Zdis is Pench."
I said, "This is Mr. Bowman. I was told to call you about getting a stack of forms delivered to me."
"Yes, Mr. Bowman. I have them to you in less than an hour."
Something wasn't right here. I asked, "Don't you want to know where to meet me?"
There was a shrug in his voice as he said, "You are at the book shop. I call you're office a little while ago. Your assistant told me this was place you like to 'hang out'."
Great. If the media doesn't get me killed, Percy just might.
"Alright then. Be here in forty-five minutes."
Non-plussed, I simply hung up and called the office.
When Percy answered, I said, "So, what's your impression of Mr. Punch?"
"What do you mean?"
"Didn't you just talk to him a little while ago?"
There was a pause then Percy said, "Um, no."
"You didn't just talk to an old greek guy with a slurry kind of accent?"
"Um, no."
That's never good.
I just stood there with my shoulders slumped a little, and a befuddled look on my face and said, "Huh."
Percy asked, "Has something gone awry?"
I thought about it for a second then said, "Nah, everything's cool."
Everything most certainly, was not cool. I hadn't even met this Punch guy, and already I didn't trust him one iota. Percy, can't lie to me. I don't mean that in a self flattering kind of way. Percy and I have known each other long enough that we can tell just by the sound of the other's voice, if they're lying. Punch had something on me, and I did not like it; not one bit.
I went inside Borders and started looking through the stacks. A girl with heavy eye-liner and a sing song way of speaking, recommended that I try reading "Ender's Game" by: Orson Scott Card.
"If you liked Heinlein's "Starship Troopers", you'll probably get a kick out of this. It's about a kid who has to save the entire human race from an invading insect horde."
I took the book over to the café, and grabbed the morning Tribune to go with it. I went over to the counter where Jason, who always seems to be at this counter whether day or night. "Clerks" comes to mind. I walked up, and he gave me the what's up nod. I held up two fingers and he started making me a double mocha espresso. I leaned against the counter and started reading chapter one of "Ender's Game." The sales girl was right. I did get a kick out of Ender. It's nice to see the bullies get their nuts punched in, even if it is just in a sci-fi book.
Jason brought me my drink. I paid for it. I walked away with it. I sat down at my usual table over by the window, overlooking the parking lot. I opened my paper and I took a look at the obituaries. I like to make sure of who's still around. A guy got killed over in the diamond district. Apparently, he and another were pulling a job when someone walked in. I didn't see any diamond shop keepers names in the obits, so I turned over to current events. I found the article about the botched robbery. The shop keeper stated that he was not even at the store when the heist occurred. He didn't know who it was that stopped the crime, but he claimed that they would be in his prayers.
Great. Now I have to deal with vigilantes on my watch. If this town gets much stranger, I'm moving to Kenosha.
I looked up from my paper, and there, seated in front of me, without having made a sound, was an old Greek man. The only reason that I knew he was there, was that I could smell his Old Spice deodorant. I should have been able to tell that he was coming up on me, but he caught me blind. I was not very appreciative of how this week was turning out.
Punch smiled a toothy grin and offered his hand saying, "Hallo, I em Pench."
His voice was gritty and slimy at the same time; the kind of voice that makes you kinda cringe a little inside when you hear it. It makes me think of Santa Claus and the IRS man wrapped into one.
I shook his hand. It was cold and dry; much like my humor.
I looked him over and said, "You lied to me. I don't like it when people lie to me."
In a low voice, Punch replied, "What in zdis world mekes you think I give a fuck about what you like, eh?"
That was not a point that I could argue inside a bookstore. I really wouldn't have minded the chance, but there were people all over. In a more private setting, I would have shown him what in this world. As it was, I was constrained by protocol.
I looked in his eyes to see nothing. He was a two way mirror.
I asked him, "How did you get the name Punch?"
He shrugged and said, "I work the numbers; punching numbers."
I said, "Really? I would have thought that is was because your presence makes someone want to punch themselves in the nuts."
I know it's not a good way to begin a business relationship, but he really did start it.
He didn't get angry. In fact, he smiled. He wagged his finger at me and said, "I like you. You make me think of crazy guy. The one who die in a crash… James Dean. I like him too, he was nice guy."
He was old enough to have known James Dean. I'll give him that.
Speaking of numbers, I decided to tease him a little. I said, "You work with numbers. How did you like the movie, "Pi"?
He gave me a blank look and said, "They hev a good idea of what it is, the ones who made that movie."
Usually when I meet an accountant and I ask that question, they get offended, or they don't know the movie, in which case, I always say "watch it" so that three days later they can be offended. Sometimes they say that they won't watch that movie. They don't like "wild minded theorists."
Whatever; it's a good flick.
I really wasn't expecting him to say that the producers of "Pi" were on to something. Most accountants like things cut and dry, like the salami on their deli sandwiches. He reached into the courier bag that was slung on his left shoulder, and pulled out a stack of applications two inches thick. He dropped them on the table and they landed with a finalizing thud.
He said, "So starts the new chepter in your life, Mr. Bowman. Here is some paper to write it on."
I picked up the applications and looked at them. They were just plain old apps with the law firm that now fronted my payroll at the top left hand corner of the page. I knew he was gone before I even looked up. The smell of his deodorant was already fading. No, this week was not to my liking at all. I checked my phone and saw the time was a quarter to three, so I grabbed my shit, paid for the book and paper, then left.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Uncle Benny's
The second time I woke up was a little better. The shades were drawn to prevent the sun from creeping in, and it was not the echoing throbbing in my head that I woke up to. It was to the not quite gentle tapping noise of Percy banging away at the keyboard.
When I stretched myself into existence, Percy glanced over at me and said, "Good morning, moonshine. I set up your appointment with Bobby. You have to be over at Rock and Roll McDonalds at three."
I rubbed the cobwebs out of my eyes and asked, "What time is it now?"
Percy glanced at the clock on the computer screen and said, "It's a quarter to eleven."
Stifling a yawn, I said, "Is it really that early?"
Percy nodded and said, "You may even have time for a shower today."
Percy's tone said that he was making a point. I will admit that it was a valid point. I could smell myself, and it was not pleasant. I stood up, walked over to the coffee maker which was full and hot, I had to use a number of stationary objects for support. I don't usually wake up with the earth on a moderate angle. I poured myself a cup 'o' joe, and then poured into the cup 'o' joe, a double shot of Bailey's Irish Cream. After thanking Percy for making the coffee, and without further comment, I made my way back to my apartment, into the shower, and into a state of cleanliness that I hadn't known for several days.
Twenty minutes later, my jaw was smooth, my scent under the radar, and my hair slicked back to cover up the fact of my Sonny Bono bowl cut. I thought about wearing the colored contacts that my mother had gotten me for Christmas. They weren't really supposed to do much, just make my eyes a darker shade of blue. I'd never worn contacts before and was leery of putting my finger tip in my eyeball. It was certainly a week of firsts for me, so I decided, what's one more?
One more is one of the biggest pains in the ass that I have ever come across. It took me almost half an hour to get those damn things in. When I was done, my eyes were red and puffy like I'd just partied with Chong. They felt like no amount of saline would be able to remove the sting and burn. However, those little pieces of silicone certainly did their job. They made my eyes look a more natural shade of blue than my own natural shade. After that, I got dressed, and by twelve o'clock, I was out the door.
I went back to the office and poured myself another cup of coffee in my twenty-four ounce travel mug. This cup got no Bailey's; just straight cream and sugar. Coffee in hand, I cruised out the door and on down the street to Uncle Benny's. It was starting to snow as I walked. It felt good on my face. Again, my mind drifted back to the library; only for a moment though, just a brief respite from reality.
There were paper lamps still hanging across a couple of alleys, from the Chinese new year's parade; collecting snow on top like whipped cream on fruit. I took much comfort in the gentle warmth of my hot cup of coffee. It kept my teeth from chattering all the way from my front door to just twenty feet short of Uncle Benny's.
I walked inside and immediately felt much of my upper body loosen up for the warmth of the cozy interior of Uncle Benny's Irish Pub. There was a fire going in the fireplace behind the stage. Uncle Benny had the coffee machine and the cocoa machine running at full steam, churning out cup after cup for the ten members of the daytime club. I walked over to the bar and shook Benny's hand in greeting. Benny asked me how things were, how was Percy, would I like my flask filled? I did pull my flask out to see how much I had left. I shook it and it sounded maybe half empty. I decided that I would just try not to drink it all at once, and put my flask back in my pocket saying my no-thanks.
I asked Benny if he had time for a quick parlez. In answer, he grabbed the phone and called Tommy who was upstairs in his apartment on the second floor. Tommy came down wearing a green sweater and ripped jeans, with a pair of red and black checkered canvas tennis shoes. I know how he landed himself a law student, but sometimes you just have to wonder.
Uncle Benny led me through the door into the back hallway. We walked the length of the hall, passing doors on either side which led to the rooms that the waitresses used when "entertaining" patrons. At the end of the hall we came to a door on the left, which opened up to a dark stairwell. Several of the lights had burnt out and been replaced with colored bulbs for lack of soft whites. Pools of blue, red and yellow dimly gathered on the walls rather than illuminating much of anything. Up the stairs we went; passing by the hallway on the second floor, where Tommy kept his life, and Benny rented out the other half of the floor to an artist. I forget the guy's name, but I'm sure someone might recognize his stuff. He does a lot of album covers.
Up to the third floor, we went; into the tiger's lair. Don't get me wrong. I think that Uncle Benny is one of the best people that I know. It's just that Uncle Benny is the kind of person who will smile at you while shaking your hand with his left hand, just before jabbing you in the throat with his right. I have to respect a man like that.
Uncle Benny opened the door to his flat and we walked inside. The differences between the bar downstairs and Benny's flat were as numerous as they were stark. Uncle Benny's flat was a spacious twelve hundred square feet, featuring hard wood floors with sections done with white carpet. The kitchen was an open island in the middle of the space with a grill in the center of that, underneath a great big chrome hood. In the room off to the right of the door was Benny's entertaining room. There was a low long table half surrounded by four large lotus blossom shaped chairs done in purple petals and a green pedestal stems. Against the wall past the chairs and table sat an ornate hand carved Chinese styled couch like the kind you see in the front of a Chinese buffet, only real. In the far corner of the room on the right, sat a tall wooden armoire which I knew first hand was filled to the brim with dvds, cds, video games, and board games. In the middle of the wall to the right, sat a glass cabinet containing all of the various machines and gadgets which were used for the operating on all the technophilia. Uncle Benny has a lot of nephews and nieces who visit him sporadically through the year. He has eight brothers and two sisters. The crown jewel of the entertainment room was the sixty-seven inch hi-def plasma screen tv hanging on the wall above the glass cabinet.
Every room in Uncle Benny's flat was done in this modern art style. The kitchen was nothing but chrome. The bedroom looked like an ad in a travel brochure for Hong Kong. The bathrooms were scarlet and royal blue respectively, featuring tile work like that in the bar privs. There was much gold etching all around.
Benny's mistress was in the kitchen when we walked in, making a pot of tea. Benny never married; another reason that he's called Uncle Benny. He has no children of his own; he can't. He figures, "Why keep a woman trapped in a relationship where there is no hope for progeny?" Uncle Benny has had the same mistress since I met him. She is a lovely woman who hates children like I hate the French.
Mae smiled at us when we came in and said something about having expected me and making the poppy seed biscuits that I like. I waved and said, "Thanks Mae, I've been craving those things." She said something self-abasing, so I said, "Oh come on. You know they're the only reason I ever come here."
Uncle Benny smiled at me as he offered me one of the lotus blossom chairs. It's good policy complement a Chinese woman's cooking in front of her man. The woman is the soul of the household. I took the chair closest to me, and Benny took the one kitty-corner.
He said, "So you got caught up with another mob huh? You make that a habit and it will kill you a lot faster than booze."
Benny smiled. His humor lends a bit more to the macabre.
Mae walked in with a tray loaded down with biscuits, a tea pot, two cups, a dish with honey, and several lemon wedges. She set the tray down on the table, poured the tea, then walked away with a smile and a nod. She and Benny exchanged a private glance as she walked away. It was something pleasant to see with such a long standing couple.
I picked up a biscuit and began eating it. Benny poured honey into my tea and said, "What do you know about this Robert Malloy now?"
Between bites I said, "I know his address, his different phone numbers, he's got family ties, possibly on the political end as well as the criminal end, he and his sister are both conniving cunts, and he always smells kinda dry. Oh yeah, his dad's gonna kick it this year some time."
Benny sipped his tea then said, "What else do you need to know?"
I sipped my tea which was warm and tart, and sweet, just like white tea should be. I said, "I need everything that you can get for me. These people are more than just mafia. I'm not quite sure what is going on here, but I know it's deep. I know that people I care about are going to get wrapped up in it. I need to be prepared for what's going to happen next."
Benny smiled and said, "I notice you got those color contacts. Trying to hide?"
I took another sip of my tea and said, "Just trying to be cautious."
"You have a lot of things to do today?"
I glanced at my phone to check the time. It was half past noon. I put my phone away and said, "A couple of things. Nothing too pressing."
Benny grinned and said, "Got time to play an old man at checkers?"
I smiled. Benny and I made it a habit a long time ago to play a game of Chinese checkers whenever we got together. I'm not too bad at the game, but then neither is Benny. He's got three games on me right now. That's about as high as either of us has gotten on the other.
I nodded and said, "Sure. I got time."
Benny stood up and walked over to the armoire, and grabbed a box from the top shelf inside. It was a wooden box with the pitted star shape that is a Chinese checker board. Inside the box were marbles that we used for the game pieces. They weren't all the original pieces. We've lost a few over the years, but they always get replaced.
As he set up the board he said, "She must be very special to you."
I gave a disgusted look and said, "Who, the sister? She's a devious bitch. Her money on the other hand; that's pretty special to me."
Benny laughed and said, "The girl who makes you think that a half a flask of rum will see you through the day."
And I'm supposed to be the detective.
I smiled at Benny's intuition and said, "That's not something I'm prepared to talk about right now, Benny. Maybe in a few weeks. Let me see how things pan out."
When I stretched myself into existence, Percy glanced over at me and said, "Good morning, moonshine. I set up your appointment with Bobby. You have to be over at Rock and Roll McDonalds at three."
I rubbed the cobwebs out of my eyes and asked, "What time is it now?"
Percy glanced at the clock on the computer screen and said, "It's a quarter to eleven."
Stifling a yawn, I said, "Is it really that early?"
Percy nodded and said, "You may even have time for a shower today."
Percy's tone said that he was making a point. I will admit that it was a valid point. I could smell myself, and it was not pleasant. I stood up, walked over to the coffee maker which was full and hot, I had to use a number of stationary objects for support. I don't usually wake up with the earth on a moderate angle. I poured myself a cup 'o' joe, and then poured into the cup 'o' joe, a double shot of Bailey's Irish Cream. After thanking Percy for making the coffee, and without further comment, I made my way back to my apartment, into the shower, and into a state of cleanliness that I hadn't known for several days.
Twenty minutes later, my jaw was smooth, my scent under the radar, and my hair slicked back to cover up the fact of my Sonny Bono bowl cut. I thought about wearing the colored contacts that my mother had gotten me for Christmas. They weren't really supposed to do much, just make my eyes a darker shade of blue. I'd never worn contacts before and was leery of putting my finger tip in my eyeball. It was certainly a week of firsts for me, so I decided, what's one more?
One more is one of the biggest pains in the ass that I have ever come across. It took me almost half an hour to get those damn things in. When I was done, my eyes were red and puffy like I'd just partied with Chong. They felt like no amount of saline would be able to remove the sting and burn. However, those little pieces of silicone certainly did their job. They made my eyes look a more natural shade of blue than my own natural shade. After that, I got dressed, and by twelve o'clock, I was out the door.
I went back to the office and poured myself another cup of coffee in my twenty-four ounce travel mug. This cup got no Bailey's; just straight cream and sugar. Coffee in hand, I cruised out the door and on down the street to Uncle Benny's. It was starting to snow as I walked. It felt good on my face. Again, my mind drifted back to the library; only for a moment though, just a brief respite from reality.
There were paper lamps still hanging across a couple of alleys, from the Chinese new year's parade; collecting snow on top like whipped cream on fruit. I took much comfort in the gentle warmth of my hot cup of coffee. It kept my teeth from chattering all the way from my front door to just twenty feet short of Uncle Benny's.
I walked inside and immediately felt much of my upper body loosen up for the warmth of the cozy interior of Uncle Benny's Irish Pub. There was a fire going in the fireplace behind the stage. Uncle Benny had the coffee machine and the cocoa machine running at full steam, churning out cup after cup for the ten members of the daytime club. I walked over to the bar and shook Benny's hand in greeting. Benny asked me how things were, how was Percy, would I like my flask filled? I did pull my flask out to see how much I had left. I shook it and it sounded maybe half empty. I decided that I would just try not to drink it all at once, and put my flask back in my pocket saying my no-thanks.
I asked Benny if he had time for a quick parlez. In answer, he grabbed the phone and called Tommy who was upstairs in his apartment on the second floor. Tommy came down wearing a green sweater and ripped jeans, with a pair of red and black checkered canvas tennis shoes. I know how he landed himself a law student, but sometimes you just have to wonder.
Uncle Benny led me through the door into the back hallway. We walked the length of the hall, passing doors on either side which led to the rooms that the waitresses used when "entertaining" patrons. At the end of the hall we came to a door on the left, which opened up to a dark stairwell. Several of the lights had burnt out and been replaced with colored bulbs for lack of soft whites. Pools of blue, red and yellow dimly gathered on the walls rather than illuminating much of anything. Up the stairs we went; passing by the hallway on the second floor, where Tommy kept his life, and Benny rented out the other half of the floor to an artist. I forget the guy's name, but I'm sure someone might recognize his stuff. He does a lot of album covers.
Up to the third floor, we went; into the tiger's lair. Don't get me wrong. I think that Uncle Benny is one of the best people that I know. It's just that Uncle Benny is the kind of person who will smile at you while shaking your hand with his left hand, just before jabbing you in the throat with his right. I have to respect a man like that.
Uncle Benny opened the door to his flat and we walked inside. The differences between the bar downstairs and Benny's flat were as numerous as they were stark. Uncle Benny's flat was a spacious twelve hundred square feet, featuring hard wood floors with sections done with white carpet. The kitchen was an open island in the middle of the space with a grill in the center of that, underneath a great big chrome hood. In the room off to the right of the door was Benny's entertaining room. There was a low long table half surrounded by four large lotus blossom shaped chairs done in purple petals and a green pedestal stems. Against the wall past the chairs and table sat an ornate hand carved Chinese styled couch like the kind you see in the front of a Chinese buffet, only real. In the far corner of the room on the right, sat a tall wooden armoire which I knew first hand was filled to the brim with dvds, cds, video games, and board games. In the middle of the wall to the right, sat a glass cabinet containing all of the various machines and gadgets which were used for the operating on all the technophilia. Uncle Benny has a lot of nephews and nieces who visit him sporadically through the year. He has eight brothers and two sisters. The crown jewel of the entertainment room was the sixty-seven inch hi-def plasma screen tv hanging on the wall above the glass cabinet.
Every room in Uncle Benny's flat was done in this modern art style. The kitchen was nothing but chrome. The bedroom looked like an ad in a travel brochure for Hong Kong. The bathrooms were scarlet and royal blue respectively, featuring tile work like that in the bar privs. There was much gold etching all around.
Benny's mistress was in the kitchen when we walked in, making a pot of tea. Benny never married; another reason that he's called Uncle Benny. He has no children of his own; he can't. He figures, "Why keep a woman trapped in a relationship where there is no hope for progeny?" Uncle Benny has had the same mistress since I met him. She is a lovely woman who hates children like I hate the French.
Mae smiled at us when we came in and said something about having expected me and making the poppy seed biscuits that I like. I waved and said, "Thanks Mae, I've been craving those things." She said something self-abasing, so I said, "Oh come on. You know they're the only reason I ever come here."
Uncle Benny smiled at me as he offered me one of the lotus blossom chairs. It's good policy complement a Chinese woman's cooking in front of her man. The woman is the soul of the household. I took the chair closest to me, and Benny took the one kitty-corner.
He said, "So you got caught up with another mob huh? You make that a habit and it will kill you a lot faster than booze."
Benny smiled. His humor lends a bit more to the macabre.
Mae walked in with a tray loaded down with biscuits, a tea pot, two cups, a dish with honey, and several lemon wedges. She set the tray down on the table, poured the tea, then walked away with a smile and a nod. She and Benny exchanged a private glance as she walked away. It was something pleasant to see with such a long standing couple.
I picked up a biscuit and began eating it. Benny poured honey into my tea and said, "What do you know about this Robert Malloy now?"
Between bites I said, "I know his address, his different phone numbers, he's got family ties, possibly on the political end as well as the criminal end, he and his sister are both conniving cunts, and he always smells kinda dry. Oh yeah, his dad's gonna kick it this year some time."
Benny sipped his tea then said, "What else do you need to know?"
I sipped my tea which was warm and tart, and sweet, just like white tea should be. I said, "I need everything that you can get for me. These people are more than just mafia. I'm not quite sure what is going on here, but I know it's deep. I know that people I care about are going to get wrapped up in it. I need to be prepared for what's going to happen next."
Benny smiled and said, "I notice you got those color contacts. Trying to hide?"
I took another sip of my tea and said, "Just trying to be cautious."
"You have a lot of things to do today?"
I glanced at my phone to check the time. It was half past noon. I put my phone away and said, "A couple of things. Nothing too pressing."
Benny grinned and said, "Got time to play an old man at checkers?"
I smiled. Benny and I made it a habit a long time ago to play a game of Chinese checkers whenever we got together. I'm not too bad at the game, but then neither is Benny. He's got three games on me right now. That's about as high as either of us has gotten on the other.
I nodded and said, "Sure. I got time."
Benny stood up and walked over to the armoire, and grabbed a box from the top shelf inside. It was a wooden box with the pitted star shape that is a Chinese checker board. Inside the box were marbles that we used for the game pieces. They weren't all the original pieces. We've lost a few over the years, but they always get replaced.
As he set up the board he said, "She must be very special to you."
I gave a disgusted look and said, "Who, the sister? She's a devious bitch. Her money on the other hand; that's pretty special to me."
Benny laughed and said, "The girl who makes you think that a half a flask of rum will see you through the day."
And I'm supposed to be the detective.
I smiled at Benny's intuition and said, "That's not something I'm prepared to talk about right now, Benny. Maybe in a few weeks. Let me see how things pan out."
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